I’ve been through so many traumatic situations, and I’ll be transparent with all of you. They always revolved around crystal meth, partying and having sex on substances. And yes, you put yourself in a circle of people where you end up in precarious situations. For me, that meant being falsely accused, having to turn myself in and paying $5,000. You can read all about that in many of my books.
But the point is, when you’re hooking up, you have to think about your safety. Yes, that’s how gay men meet nowadays. I’m not here to judge, because I was one of those individuals. I do miss it at times, but I know it’s not the right place for me at this point in my life. That’s why I wrote my book, Pursuit of Unavailable Love, because we always look for love in the wrong places.
If you’re still out here trying to find yourself, find love and just have good sex, well, some of y’all are having good sex. LOL. The thing is, you have to put certain safety mechanisms in place, whether you want to share it with people or not.
I know dipping in and out in the middle of the night may be a little sleazy, and you don’t want your friends or family to judge you. But somebody needs to know where you’re going.
Here’s what I used to do. When I was going somewhere, I’d write the address on a piece of paper and leave it. I felt safer entertaining in my house, but that’s another story for a different day.
Then, when I got out of the Uber, I’d share my trip. There’s that one special friend you can share it with. Mine is Vanessa. A friend like that doesn’t judge. They know it’s the middle of the night, and they know where you’re going. They have the location where you were dropped off.
The next thing I’ve always done is take a picture of myself getting out of the car, outside the building with the address. It records the time you were there. Then I’d send it to a friend. They have the time, and they know where I was. So if I never showed up again, they’d know where to start. It’s always about where to start the investigation.
And if you have a picture of the person, send the goddamn picture to a friend, so at least somebody knows who and what you’re looking at.
Late at night, that’s when bad things happen. Like the saying goes, nothing good happens after midnight.
I’ve met and chatted with many people who don’t give out their phone number. I don’t want anyone coming to my house who didn’t give me their phone number. And yes, they can give you one of those Google Voice numbers. But God forbid something happens, that’s trackable. At least I’d know who was coming to my house. I don’t care if they lied about their name. Anybody who doesn’t want to give you their phone number, that’s a red flag. But some of y’all out here are ignoring red flags, and I’m tired of hearing about these situations.
I know this is the new era. This is the way we’re meeting. But you can also protect yourself.
If you’re going to a sex club, again, share your Uber ride with somebody or whatever. I know you little boys and girls are out here after 12 o’clock doing the nasty. I used to be one of y’all.
What I’m trying to tell you is that you have to put protection mechanisms in place, so that, God forbid, if something happens to you, somebody knows where to start. I used to say date smart. Date for success. If you wanna have a good old time, if you wanna have sex, you can do it.
I’m big on not wanting everybody knowing my business. I’m grown, and you can do whatever you want to do. But just because you’re grown doesn’t mean you shouldn’t worry about your safety, especially if you’re creeping in the middle of the night. I’m learning that being grown doesn’t mean everybody else has my best interests at heart.
Protect yourself, okay? And I don’t mean with a condom. If you want to wear one, wear one. If not, then hey. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about making sure you’re safe when you’re hooking up. Don’t do stupid stuff in the middle of the night with nobody knowing where you’re going.
The lead image was created with AI.
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