The other day I was riding the train, thinking to myself, where do people meet now? And I know, don’t tell me what apps are available. They’re all hookup apps. I don’t care who says they’re not. They’re for browsing, or for guys in open relationships looking for a side piece, or guys just looking to party. Then there’s the group that only wants sex. Not even communication, not even your name. They want it anonymous and dark and sleazy, which can be fun, ha ha ha. But that gets old as you get older. That’s why I wrote my dance track, “I’m Not Your B$TCH.”
Lately, all I’m getting is 3 o’clock phone calls or text messages saying, “Hey, what’s up?” No name. No hello. No “This is such-and-such, we met on such-and-such a day.” Just “Hey, what’s up?”
First of all, who feels like it’s okay to text someone at 12 at night, or at 3 in the morning? We already know the saying. Nothing good happens after midnight.
Did I create these monsters? They feel they can just pick up their phone and go through what I call the Black Book. I don’t even know if people use that term anymore. That shows you how old I am. We used to keep a Black Book with the names of everyone we wanted to hook up with. Now it’s on our phones.
But if I hook up with someone for a one-night stand, do I put their number in my phone with their name? I don’t, because I don’t expect to see them again. Doesn’t one-night stand mean one night only? LOL.
And some of these texts come from people I haven’t heard from in decades. Not even “Oh, hello, how are you? How was life last year?” None of that. Just “Hey, what’s up?”
I’m not gonna be a hypocrite. I’m gonna be transparent. Sometimes someone texts you at the right time, and it’s not a problem. So I’m sort of contradicting myself by being annoyed. There are times when you’re hot and bothered and lonely and need a little loving, and you answer even when there’s no name. But if you answer and you’re not sure who it is, it might be someone you never meant to hook up with.
And is it weird to ask for a picture when someone texts “What’s up?” in the middle of the night? Because there was one time I didn’t, and I regret it to this day. I said, “Hi, what’s up?” thinking it was one person, and when the doorman called up, it was someone I did not want to see again. Then I was stuck. It’s odd for me to tell someone I’m not into them, that this was a mistake, after I answered their text at 2 in the morning.
Don’t ask me what I did. None of your business. Did I kick ’em out? Did I say, “Ooh, sorry, mistake”? Or did I do the do anyway? That’s for me to know and you never to find out. Ha ha.
So I’m just wondering. Why do people text at 2 in the morning without a name? Who is this? Why are you texting me, and why don’t you introduce yourself? To me, it says you’re that promiscuous, or that available.
I always tell guys, if you don’t see me online or on an app, don’t text me. That means I’m not looking. If you wanna ask me on a date, that’s a different story.
And I hate this one. I hook up with someone and never hear from them again. Then, lo and behold, I jump on one of these apps, and they see me. Now they want a deep conversation, and now they want to hook up. No, baby. Why didn’t you call me before that? I know the saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” Now I’m in your sight. Now I’m in your mind. But I wasn’t looking for you. I was looking for something new. Why are you asking how I’m doing now, when you had my number all this time? That’s when I said, “Why even bother?”
Sometimes I don’t understand guys. Anyway, I guess my next article will be about who dates anymore.
The lead image was created with AI.
If you’re OVAH!? You know what to do.
Subscribe to OVAH MAGNo AI-written articles on OVAH MAG. Every word here is the author’s own. How we work
