The other day I was riding the train, thinking to myself, where do people meet now? And I know, don’t tell me what apps are available. They’re all hookup apps. I don’t care who says they’re not. They’re for browsing, or for guys in open relationships looking for a side piece, or guys just looking to party. And then there’s also another group who are really genuinely just looking to have sex and nothing else. Not even communication, not even your name. They want it to be anonymous and dark and sleazy, which can be fun, ha ha ha. But that does get old as you get older. That’s why I wrote my dance track, “I’m Not Your B$TCH.”
Lately, all I’m getting is 3 o’clock phone calls or text messages saying, “Hey, what’s up?” No name. No hello. No “This is such-and-such, we met on such-and-such a day.” Just “Hey, what’s up?”
First of all, who feels like it’s okay to just text someone at 12 at night, or at 3 in the morning? We already know the saying. Nothing good happens after midnight.
Did I create these monsters? They feel they can just pick up their phone and go through what I now call the Black Book. I don’t even know if people use that term anymore. That shows you how old I am. We used to have a Black Book with the names of all the people you wanted to hook up with or have sex with. Now we just have it on our phones.
But for me, if I hook up with someone on a one-night stand, do I put their number in my phone with their name? I don’t, because I don’t anticipate seeing them again. Doesn’t one-night stand mean one night only? LOL.
And it’s odd, because some of these text messages are coming from people I haven’t heard from in decades. Not even “Oh, hello, hi, how are you? How was life last year?” None of that. Just “Hey, what’s up?”
I’m not gonna be a hypocrite. I’m gonna be transparent. There are those times when someone texts you at the right time, and it’s not a problem. So I’m sort of contradicting myself by being annoyed. There are those times when you’re hot and bothered and lonely and need a little loving. You might answer their texts even when they have no name. But then, if you answer and you’re not sure who it is, it might be someone you didn’t intend to answer or hook up with.
And true, is it weird to ask someone for their picture when they’re texting you “What’s up?” in the middle of the night? Because there was that one time I didn’t do it, and I regret it to this day. I said, “Hi, what’s up?” thinking it was one person, and when the doorman called up, it was someone I did not want to see again. Then I was stuck. And it’s odd for me to tell someone I’m not into them, that this was a mistake, after I answered their text at 2 in the morning.
Don’t ask me what I did. None of your business. Did I kick ’em out? Did I say, “Ooh, sorry, mistake”? Or did I do the do anyway? That’s for me to know and you never to find out. Ha ha.
So I’m just wondering. Why do people text people at 2 in the morning without a name? Who is this? Why are you texting me? And why do you feel the need not to introduce yourself? I don’t understand it. To me, it gives people the idea that you’re that promiscuous, or that available.
I always tell guys, if you don’t see me online or on an app, don’t text me. That means I’m not looking now. If you wanna ask me on a date, that’s a different story.
I hate it. I’m always annoyed when I’ve hooked up with someone and I don’t ever hear from them. Then, lo and behold, I decide to jump on one of these hookup apps, and they see me. Now they want to have a conversation, and now they want to hook up. No, baby. Why didn’t you text me or call me before that? I know the saying is “out of sight, out of mind.” But now I’m in your sight. Now I’m in your mind. I don’t wanna be in your mind right then, because I wasn’t looking for you. I was looking for something new. So why are you messaging me now, wanting to have a deep conversation and asking me how I’m doing, when you had my phone number all this time? That’s when I said, “Why even bother?”
Sometimes I don’t understand guys. But anyway, I guess my next article will be on the topic of who dates anymore.
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