Renowned author and personal-development legend Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Celes on her site “Personal Excellence” adds that it’s important you consider yourself in addition to those around you when considering the average. You form part of that equation.
I love my friends but when everything they post or say is negative my first thought is to reach out and see how I can help. Oftentimes when people are negative, they are lashing out and may be responding to personal circumstances that are causing them those challenges. I of course have concern for their well being, especially if they are not generally a negative type of person. But I also have to be concerned about myself. I can’t be sucked into their downward spiral. Negativity is contiguous!
Sometimes negativity is masked as critical thinking or being critical of a particular topic or issue. Being critical is often layered with negative opinions and thoughts giving the illusion of criticism. Negativity masked as constructive criticism can be the death of a person. In the modern world, those giving “negative criticism” are essentially considered being “negative.” (Wikipedia)
In my life I realized that when I am going through something personal, constructive criticism is the last thing I can attempt to offer. Difficult personal circumstances blur the lens through which we can consider a particular topic or issue.
It’s sad when friends don’t notice their own negativity. Depression is an evil bitch and when you allow it to take over, a friend coming to your rescue is never welcomed or received with good intention. I struggle when I see friends drowning themselves in negativity unwillingly. In these moments, all I can do is step back and pray that the ray of light will shine upon them soon.
As a good friend, it’s important to ensure your negative friends are not suffering but you also have to understand you have to maintain boundaries to ensure you don’t become part of the average of those around you. Who you spend time with shapes the person you become.
