“It’s disappointing seeing Marek+Richard perpetuate this toxic mentality to sell a tank instead let’s #ChangeTheGame” — via Jack’d Twitter account.
Marek+Richard is a brand built on crude and in your face t-shirts. If you know of the brand; you might not take this shirt too seriously. However, “No Fems” and “No Fats” is a part of a bigger issue within the community, one that says we’re not inclusive.
In recent years, it’s become acceptable to discriminate against one another when it’s done with humor or labeled as a preference. Should you be offended? Are we overreacting and reading too much into it? The answers to these burning questions all depends on you. I recognize that some view this as “preference” but sadly, it reminds me of signs comparable to “NO BLACKS.” It’s also not a surprise that people see nothing wrong with the shirt.
As founder of Kinkster MAG and an African-American gay male, I am used to seeing “No blacks” on guys’ profiles. This isn’t new for me. Seeing “No Blacks,” however, is not a great feeling, but there is little I can do about it, freedom of speech I guess. From personal experience, I’ve been told to “get over it” and “it is what it is.”
When you’re an African-American gay man over 40, you become desensitized to discrimination. You also, sadly, become used to the arguments and opinions of others. People who defend “No Fems,” “No Blacks,” and “No Fats” are not willing to acknowledge their subtle ways and forms of discrimination. Discrimination is not always in your face or direct. Tongue-and-cheek discrimination is the most hurtful form of discrimination.
A handful of gay men believe these statements are just a matter of a preference and see nothing wrong with it. Guys like me, view this as a subtle way to discriminate. I personally believe, the shirt was meant to be catchy and possibly to poke fun at an issue within the community. However, the approach was probably not the wisest. The shirt has done one thing, started a conversation.
Gay men discriminate against one another. This shirt is proof that a problem exists. You can laugh at it, purchase it, and wear it with pride, or take it as an opportunity to point out that we are not as inclusive as we would like to think. Half of us want to be inclusive and the other half does not. It’s a harsh reality.
This shirt is not going to the first or the last to be printed. However, I hope as a community we will stop turning a blind eye to the fact that we hurt one another with our words. Words used effectively cut like a knife. My brand is built on the word Kinkster, so I understand misperceptions. Mine has nothing to do with sex, however, because of the name, it is perceived to be one. Similarly to the shirt, it all depends on how you view the shirt.
This is an opportunity for us to have a positive discussion about the subtle ways we indirectly discriminate against each another. Discrimination is uncomfortable and if you bring up the topic, be ready for a debate.
I will say this much, as a business owner, Marek+Richard did one thing right, they have everybody talking about their brand.
Also, check out our interview with the executives at Jack’d on the topic of inclusion and their #ChangetheGame intuitive.
