I’m a husky guy, I have facial hair, I’m masculine, and I’m gay. Some people might look at me and say that I’m a Bear. Although I don’t really identify as a bear, I’m fine with that label as a description for my general physical appearance. However, one of the reasons I struggle with this label is a result of my own perception of a bear’s fashion sense, or lack thereof. In a stereotypical way I think many people perceive bears being interested in only t-shirts, baseball caps, jeans, and flannel, and maybe some leather.
Jacob Z. Flores wrote that bears are not slaves to fashion and I think generally people would agreed with that. But, although some guys may be their most comfortable dressing in those clothes or in a casual style, many others who physically appear to be a bear are interested in expressing a sense of style either in their personal life and/or their professional life. I know there is debate out there so I ask are these guys no longer considered bears?
In 2013, BeefPieBear.com attempted to classify the various style trends of gay bears. One of them included the “Daddy Bear Corporate Style” or the Business Bear which is where I might fall for the 9-5 portion of my day. And since this portion of my day takes up so much of my life, I thought I’d write about where a Business Bear can find clothing appropriate for a professional workplace.
This is where I turn the focus of my “bear-ness” to my girth. I recently attempted to buy some dress slacks for a conference I would be attending. As is typical I STRUGGLED to find something that fit, fit well, looked good, and was in my price range. I’ve joked with sales people because oftentimes they can’t help me. In one store, I’m too big, in another I’m too small. What does a big guy do? It can be frustrating.
My go-to brick and mortar store was always Macy’s mostly for convenience sake, but, I’m too big for them these days. The last time I was there, I really couldn’t find anything larger than a 40, and when I could fit into a 40, I could never find the correct length, and when I did they never really fit quite right. I always felt like I was making due.
I also tried turning to my style insider at Bergdorf Goodman, however, he says that pant sizes might go as high as 44 and when it comes to the designer labels, those might go only as high as 38, so that was out.
On my hunt for a quick sale, I turned to Rochester Big & Tall here in NYC. In the store I found several items I liked from casual to more dressy items including suits. The clothing was modern and fashionable, the sales people were very friendly and helpful. Being in store specific for big and tall men, I felt comfortable that they would understand my clothing concerns and they did. The only downside was I couldn’t just take something off the rack for the style of pant I was looking for. They needed to be tailored and unfortunately, I didn’t have the time that day. I will, however, be visiting in the near future and at this point I think this will be my new go-to store.
If you didn’t know, Rochester Big & Tall is under Destination XL Group, Inc., “the largest omni-channel specialty retailer of big & tall men’s apparel.” And bigger guys take note, we’re in luck, waists range from 38 to 64, big sizes run XL to 7XL, tall sizes are XLT to 6XLT. The company plans to have 230 stores open by 2017 and 400 locations in subsequent years. The company operates under five brands that include Destination XL® (DXL®), Casual Male XL®, Rochester Clothing, ShoesXL® and LivingXL®. AND they recently opened a DXL store in Chelsea here in NYC. The company has also expanded their e-commerce site, so if you’re comfortable buying online this may be an option.
Another brick and mortar I’ve been to is Men’s Wearhouse. I have had success in the past with suits, however, the tailoring services aren’t always quite right. The online store shows waist sizes in the Big & Tall section running from 32 to 60 for jeans and for slacks from 32 to 74. They also carry a wide array of brands. I played with the online filter in the Pants & Shorts section and was impressed I could select my actual waist and length size and it showed me what brands I could chose from.
Another popular online destination for bigger guys is KingSize which is under the FullBeauty Brands owned by the same group that owns brands like Cole Haan and Karl Lagerfeld and at one time Tommy Hilfiger. Waist sizes on KingSize run 38 to 80, big sizes run from XL to 10XL, chest 42 up to 84, and neck sizes from 16 to 26 ½.
In addition to these stores where you can buy modern, stylish clothing, if you’re looking to connect with other bigger guys (not necessarily bear-identified) who are also interested in fashion and establishing a personal style there are communities out there. Alysse Dalessandro identified 7 body positive men with fashion blogs worthy of a read.
