Can a guy masturbate too much? This is a question sexologists are faced with daily. Personally, I never thought I masturbated too much until I started to notice my desire to have sex decreasing tremendously. By and large, for single gay man, having sex is a significant part of our lives. We bond and connect with each other sexually. However, when our socialization and hooking up practices went from meeting at a bar or social gathering to hooking up via the internet and dating apps, meeting guys became harder. You would think meeting guys on line would be easier but honestly it’s harder. You’re often fishing through a sea of men who are dipping out on their boyfriends, more interested in the party and play (PNP) aspect of sex and unable to get it up, fixated on porn, or are so twisted that they can’t even carry a conversation that masturbation becomes the easier option.
Masturbation isn’t only about sex. For many, it’s a routine way of relieving stress, clearing our head before work, or going to sleep. In my case, masturbating was the end result of playing Russian Roulette when using a hook-up site or app to find a sex partner. As we all know hooking up online is hit or miss. You may win sometimes but more often the sex is mediocre, or you end up meeting someone who is nothing like what they stated in their profile.
I was alarmed when I would hook up and could not perform. The physical presence of a man stripping before me was no longer exciting. Then I had to ask myself, are you masturbating too much!?
Guys can get hung up on whether they masturbate too much. But it’s not how many times you masturbate in a week (or day) that really matters, says Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist and sex educator. However, when masturbation interferes with your daily functioning your relationship, or your sex life then there is a problem.
For the vast majority of men, masturbation is a healthy thing. Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist shares “I’m usually more concerned about a guy who’s stopped masturbating — which can be a sign of anxiety or health problems — than a guy who’s doing it regularly.” A puzzling statement when trying to figure out whether you are someone who is masturbating too much.
Oddly, masturbating too much sometimes has the reverse effect on me. Perodically I have found that when I masturbate I become so fixated on having sex that my standards for selecting a sexual partner are lowered. It’s also when I make bad choices. It’s the reason why at one point in my life I would party and play (PNP) a lot. After masturbating so much I just needed to have some physical contact with a person so I would jump online and hook up with the first guy who hit me up; a major destructive point in my life.
Did you know that too much masturbation can have a damaging effect on a person mentally or physically. Yes physically. Some guys beat off to the point of injury, says Tobias Köhler, M.D., a urologist at Southern Illinois University. Frequent or rough masturbation can cause minor skin irritation. Forcefully bending an erect penis can rupture the chambers that fill with blood, a rare but gruesome condition called penile fracture. Ouch!
Masturbating in a short space of time can also cause swelling of the penis, called oedema, caused by fluid in the tissues. The swelling does disappear within a day or two. Psychologically masturbating too much can create anxiety, fear of having sex, and increased drug use.
Masturbation in general is natural and when done in moderation is a healthy act. If you feel you’re masturbating too much, consider joining a group for support and insight. In my research I found a few groups on Facebook that were actually informative and helpful.
