On a beautiful September night in NYC, minding my own business, working on a business project, I received a text message, “Hey there.” It’s never a good sign when you don’t recognize the number and the clincher was it had no name associated with it.
It’s a pet-peeve of mine when someone texts without their name especially when we don’t communicate on a regular basis. Did he seriously think I’ve programmed his name in my phone after one night of passion?
The sex, date, or quick encounter might have been good but it’s never so good you’re willing to drop everything and I mean literally everything to stop what you’re doing in the present for someone who is a part of your past. I don’t think so!
When you take the time to program a total stranger’s number in your phone, personally that’s how things get confusing and start feeling like you’re getting involved or are wanting something more. There are exceptions to the rule, usually if it’s someone you’ve met through a friend, co-workers or family member, I can see how it might warrant someone being programmed in. Outside of those exceptions it’s impossible for me to program anyone in my phone after one night or meeting! Seriously!?
Honestly I’ve never been able to grasp how someone you’ve met once, haven’t seen or spoken to in months or years has the urge to call or text someone they barely know. It’s an impulse I’ve never experienced and hope I never do. If the thought ever crossed my mind it quickly escaped me because I NEVER wanted to give a man the impression I was desperate and just using him for sex by going through my black-book.
Oddly, when I found out who this person was I instantly decided I would defuse the situation by saying, “To What do I owe the pleasure?” Yes, I guess he figured I didn’t remember him so he would remind me with nude photos. Although his attractive, fully clothed, G-rated photos came last I could not help but focus on the fact that he was texting me a year later and what that meant.
Why is it when you’re focused, have no times for games, and you have your eye on the prize that distractions start popping up, like silly boys. Yes, I said boys! I believe mature gay men would know better than call without being direct and aware of how it appears to text someone a year later.
When you haven’t called or texted someone in 8 months it’s important to start off the text with your name, simply identifying yourself and who you are. Do you seriously think someone still has you programmed into his phone after a one-night stand, especially when it was more than a year ago?
Maturity plays a big part in how someone handles and engages with the rules of sex, dating, and one-night stands. This does not have to be complicated. When you’re direct, honest and accepting of your own intentions you avoid a web of lies or playing a game.
It’s very simple to be straight up. I want to offer something like, “Hey _____, it’s__________. I know it’s been over a year since we’ve seen each other or you’ve heard from me but I really enjoyed our time together. I regret not keeping up with you but if you’re willing, I would like to see you again.”
