In recent years the method in which we meet potential partners has completely changed causing a major shift in the way we view relationships, how we date, and how we demonstrate love. I believe this in turn has ultimately modified some of our morals and values. Social networking, dating sites, hook-up sites, snap-chat, have all played into making the modern classic movie “Sex, Lies and Videotape” our new reality.
Even the way people view casual relationships has changed. It seems that there are increasing numbers of people who have become more accepting of open relationships, group sex and living out their own porn star fantasies by making sex-videos and posting explicit pictures of themselves across multiple hook-up/dating sites for the world to see. Whatever happened to discretion and leaving something to the imagination?
Nevertheless, the world of technology and the need for instant gratification has also redefined the relationship we have with ourselves. What we once found UN-acceptable has vastly become acceptable in order to be considered hip, dateable or open-minded.
This all became evident after dating someone who claimed that their most successful relationships were open relationships. The one thing that kept coming to mind when he told me this was, “If that’s the case, why have you been so unsuccessful staying in an open relationship and why are you not in one?” I started to wonder if he was suffering from the classic case of “When in Rome, do as the Romans do!” Was he thinking that an open relationship was good for him because others have convinced him monogamy was no longer an option or a reality in a world driven by false realities.
Although technology has truly advanced our culture and the way we live, it has also made it easy to lose one quality that is essential in our lives and any relationship…respect! Technology and social media has ruined so many facets of our lives from dating, to the ways we communicate and connect with one another and sadly how we demonstrate self-respect for oneself. How much respect can someone really have for you (or can you have for yourself) if you have sexually explicit pictures and videos of yourself plastered around the internet. If your profession is porn that is a different situation. Or if you’re looking for “only” a sexual relationship, I guess that’s okay. But if you’re looking for more than that, are these media snippets really going to work?
According to the Huffington Post, for many social media users, it is an esteem booster, which explains why so many people spend so much time on social media. It provides many individuals with a false sense of self and an inflated sense of who they really are.
Here are three important factors to help develop a strong sense of self-respect online:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you compare yourself to others, you are comparing yourself to the perception of what you think the person is. In reality, many people are presenting only their ideal selves online. Therefore, you are comparing yourself to an ideal figure, not a true representation.
2. Authenticity is Key. Stay true to your real self. Instead of creating an inflated, unrealistic version of yourself; examine who you are and your best attributes. Determine what makes you unique and focus your attention on enhancing yourself. Ask yourself this question, “Would you rather 1,000 carbon copies of replicas or one authentic version of yourself?” People like individuals who are relatable, yet, real. Do not be afraid to show who you really are.
3. Align your “Real” self with your “Ideal” self. If you are portraying yourself as an ideal figure or with an ideal career, why not work towards those goals to achieve your ideal status? As we know, everything in life worth doing takes time, effort, energy, and persistence.Regardless of the method you choose to search for love or sex; first impressions are the last impressions.
Developing a strong sense of self-respect can help you fulfill your potential, develop healthy relationships, and make everyone around you see you as a person who is worthy of respect. If you truly want to respect yourself, then you have to accept yourself, the decisions you make and how you present yourself to the world.
Defining your dating identity should be one of the first things you must do in order to establish a healthier dating experience, however, in this new era of dating, respecting oneself is most important.
