Most gay men have been conditioned to believe being asked or asking someone to meet the family is a label for “it’s getting serious!” Are you joking? Consider this, an invite to dinner is only an invitation to eat, nothing more.
Deciding to ask someone to dinner all depends on how comfortable you are with the person you’re dating and if they would appreciate the invite. For those still on shaky ground, take into consideration if he is not ready, or nervous about meeting the family, if so, just leave it alone.
Plus, you would rather have a terrific date for New Years Eve instead of him sitting across the table from Uncle Joe who’s telling dirty jokes all night. Remember, someone who is in an uncomfortable or unwilling situation generally will not have a good time, leaving your family with an impression you’re dating a socially inept person.
Often when someone is not ready to meet the family, it doesn’t necessarily mean they do not see a future with you. It sometimes implies they would prefer meeting your family under less stressful circumstances. In other cases they may feel it will create unrealistic expectations, adding pressure to a new relationship.
Making someone feel welcome in different aspects of your life is important, so it’s usually just a matter of talking with him about it and see what would make him the most comfortable.
There are always alternatives. He can stop by for dessert rather then being stuck with your family for hours. Plus, if you have him come for dessert you have an escape route! You can leave an hour or two after he arrived, less room for 20 questions.
Remember, don’t pressure the person you’re dating to do anything they don’t want to do just to prove your maturity or how much you care.
