“Let it go”! How often do we hear that phrase in a lifetime? Whether it’s a disagreement, a job or a relationship, at times in your life you find yourself at a crossroads wondering what step to take next? You may be feeling like whatever situation you are in is overwhelming, depressing or just not working right. Some people will tell you, “just let it go”; other people will tell you, “keep going and fight for it”. The real issue is how do you ‘you’ feel about whatever it is you are struggling with? Somehow you need to resolve the conflict within yourself. How on earth do you do that?
Everyone goes through relationship struggles. How to get through them, give them up or keep striving is the question. First, sit down and write down your issue so it’s right there in front of you. Make two columns: “pros” and “cons”, then really think about every aspect of what you are struggling with. In a relationship situation, write down what positives you are getting from the relationship, then write down the negatives. If the negatives outweigh the positives, the next step is to write down why it is worth it for you to stay in the relationship and is it possible to turn things around? When you are done writing, read your list and really digest what it is saying. Do you need to stay where you are or walk away and let it go?
Letting go isn’t so easy especially when your heart and time is invested into someone. You need to ask yourself an important question, “is the other person willing to do what it takes to stay in this relationship”? If you are spinning your wheels trying to make the other person happy all of the time then it really isn’t healthy for you. It needs to be a two way street which ultimately gives you both happiness and fulfillment. If you find yourself wishing, hoping and even praying that things will get better then trust me..it’s probably time to let it go! Change is never easy. Fear of the unknown is terrifying to some. The first step is the hardest but once taken the other steps will be much easier as you go. You may feel loss and regret but ultimately you will find you did the right thing. The constant circle of uncertainty surrounding your relationship will dissipate and little by little you will feel more happiness.
Make a plan on how and when you are going to let go of the dysfunctional relationship. You can confide in a friend or go to a therapist to help you reflect and find the strength to move on. It all sounds so easy, but when your heart is invested deeply into someone it is more difficult to let go than one might think. You may need support. Although the tears may flow and your heart may feel like it’s so broken you can never repair it, keep in mind that ‘you’ are always worth love and happiness. It may not be with who you wanted it to be, but there are millions of people in the world; your soul mate may be out there waiting for you. With the new year about to descend upon us, sit back and re-evaluate your life and relationships.
Take a good look at who and what you want to keep and who and what you need to let go!
