Millions of gay men have lost hope and have no where to turn. Oftentimes they end up turning to drugs or suicide to soothe the pain. I can relate on a personal level to experiences with drugs and having close friends commit suicide. I understand how difficult and painful addiction can be and the feeling of hopelessness that can come with this experience.
While researching addiction, I came across several comments about addiction from people who I am positive have no clue what addiction involves. The average person thinks it’s about drugs when it’s far from that. As a person who is a survivor from addiction and who struggles with it everyday I realized that a handful of people have the notion that when the addiction is fatal it was the result of the hand of a drug, which I believe is entirely incorrect.
A person with an addiction is lost internally and unhappy, disappointed or trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. On top of that an addiction becomes worse when you look around and all you see are finger-pointing, criticisms, or opinions from a pool of people including loved ones who will never understand or never try or cannot set aside their own personal ideas or judgments about the person and their situation.
Beating an addiction is challenging. However, there is nothing lucky about beating an addiction. No matter how long you are away from that specific addiction, life and lack of support and understanding from others is the true trigger and the reason a lot of people face relapse.
Society should realize a person who has had an addiction is not defined by that addiction; it’s just a message of pain, self-doubt and internal sorrow. The real addiction comes from not feeling loved and appreciated. There can also be a feeling of not being good enough. Addiction is never about how much drugs one can do or how high one can get; it is an escape from the cold feeling from others and loveless spirits that you surround yourself with. The true addiction comes from the self-hatred and disappointment about one’s life and how one views him or herself. Running to the drug is the escape from all the pain.
Chemsex: the name given to the rising phenomenon which refers to the use of drugs in a sexual context. Often referring to group sex that can last for days, the allure of chemsex has lead to many young men being trapped in a vicious circle of sex, addiction and dependence.
Chemsex is also the title of a powerful and potent film which tells the stories of gay men whose lives have been affected by the crisis; from self-confessed ‘slammers’ to sexual health workers, from those who deny there’s a problem to those who ‘got out alive’. Offering unprecedented access, Chemsex is a brave and unflinching journey into the dark underworld of modern, urban gay life. (Taken from Chemsex Youtube Channel)
When you have a close connection with addiction it’s important to speak up. Addiction is a disease but one of a broken spirit and nothing more. Understanding, compassion, support and less name-calling and finger pointing is truly the cure for addiction. I am not one of the lucky ones but rather someone who had people in his life that saw beyond the addiction. Loved ones encouraged me, supported me, praised me, and re-instilled within me that I was and I am “Good Enough!”
As a NYS Certified Recovery Coach I understand recovery and the importance of meeting friends and family where they are in the process. Let’s not judge, instead let’s try to have understanding and meet those with addition and who are in recovery where they are.
Gay men report higher levels of drug and alcohol addiction than men in general, with crystal meth (Queerty) becoming a particularly destructive force over the last 15 years. If you or someone you know might have a problem with meth, a good place to start is www.crystalmeth.org or contact your local chapter of Narcotics Anonymous.”
Chemsex will be released by Peccadillo Pictures in cinemas from December 4th.
