Dating, relationships and love are complex. We as humans continue to struggle to find the right ingredients for forming the perfect relationship. Although I am no expert at the art of love, I understand the importance of love. Once embraced, love can be seen through everyone and everything. The fear of loving fades away. Failed relationships become battle scars; scars that form a strong bond with love. Developing a relationship with love and how you view it opens your eyes to the many shades of love. The pet lover playing with their pet, the straight couple holding hands, the gay couple subtly touching on the subway platform, the elderly couple helping each other across the street, or the father helping his daughter ride a bike for the first time. I think you get the point!
Two things can DESTROY ANY relationship: Unrealistic Exceptions and Poor Communication.
With the many shades of love there is also a need to understand that loving someone doesn’t mean staying with them if their ideas about love are not in line with yours. You also shouldn’t make excuses for someone else when it comes to matters of the heart. We may approach love, dating and relationships differently and if you see a difference, know that it’s okay. If something doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to say “That doesn’t work for me.” It’s all about the communication that happens with you and your partner. You can decide once you understand the differences whether or not you can manage or cope with them in your life.
Just the other day someone asked me what they should do regarding their current relationship. The two of them have so much in common with each other and things seem to be going great, however, when being introduced to the other person’s family and friends there are still mixed signs about the relationship. Mixed signals are an indication you might not be asking the right questions. Don’t allow the fear of knowing the truth prevent you from asking. Communication is key.
Remember, how you express your feelings and act in a relationship is most likely completely different from someone else. For example, meeting a potential’s family might be a big deal to you but to others it might not be. Projecting and reading into a person’s actions is not dating smart. Not recognizing there are many shades of love and everyone’s expectations and ideas about love are different gives room for misinterpretations.
Accepting to live in a world with different shades of love is living in a world that is real. There are no rules to love or one set way to find love, or be loved. And there is no rule for how you should act when you find love. What is important, however, is that you are communicating throughout the process of loving.
