Have you ever been in a relationship, thought it was fine, only to one day be hit by a bolt of lightening? You discover your partner has been unfaithful to you. Your heart is crushed, your mind is whirling, you can’t eat, can’t sleep and don’t know whether you should dump them or work it out? I think most people have been here at least once. Quite the dilemma, as heart vs. logic.
Most people tend to have the reaction of, “oh hell no!” You find yourself kicking them to the curb, and saying good bye! Then suddenly you feel that anger, that rage, that incredible hurt followed by that whole in your heart and the pit in your stomach. It’s never easy getting through infidelity, especially when you love someone with your whole heart. Sometimes you want them back but logic tells you it will never work. The trust is gone, you can’t imagine how they could possibly earn that back. So, do you just give up and wait for the next person to come along? There a few ways you can handle this situation. First, if you are the type of person that knows without a doubt you could never forgive and regain trusting the one who hurt you, then you may as well cut your losses, get past the hurt and move on. The immediate pain will lessen as time goes by until one day you wake up and just don’t even think about them any more.
The second way to deal with infidelity is to ask yourself some very ‘real’ questions. Can you forgive? You may not ever forget, but can you forgive enough to make it work? Is the other person willing to make it work? Can you communicate with each other honestly about what caused the infidelity in the first place? Not just that, but be honest about whether or not you can really make it work. Did the person learn anything from their mistake? Are they willing to apologize and make sure it doesn’t happen again? If you can do all of these things and find it in your heart to forgive, then why not give it a second try? The mistake some make is they become hyper-vigilant. They start checking your phone, checking up on you, looking through your personal stuff, absolutely sure they are going to bust you again. That’s not really a good way to live. No one wants to feel constantly like they have to check on you, nor does the person being checked upon want to keep looking over their shoulder. Trust will never be rebuilt that way. The best thing to do is acknowledge forgiveness and your willingness to make each day a new start. Love yourself enough that you want to live every day in a positive light. Don’t engage in battle when and if it erupts. Just breathe!
Trying to live a positive lifestyle isn’t very difficult. You just have to remember you are worthy of love and happiness. You have to remember that no one is perfect, and mistakes will be made along the way in any relationship. The challenge comes when you discover whether or not your love is strong enough to put in the work. Every day remind yourself to give thanks for three positive things in your life. Remember to not dwell in the negative. When you dwell in the negative and wait for the next bomb to drop, then surely, your bringing negativity into your relationship. Second chances can work if both parties are willing. Ask yourself how you would feel if your significant other was no longer in your life. Are fighting and being negative worth the possibility of losing someone for ever? If you do make a mistake, learn from it. Don’t repeat the same mistake twice. If you are given a second chance by someone you truly love, then remember it is a gift. Life is short. We should all remember to laugh more, love more, forgive more and bring positivism into our lives as much as possible. Don’t just give your other half a second chance, give yourself one too.
