Are you dating someone who is needy? If so, I want you to stop using the word needy because if you look in the mirror and examine your own needs I guarantee you will see a person who is needy from time to time.
I have dated a number of men who have labeled me as needy but it wasn’t me who was needy. It was the person I was dating who was not ready to commit. For decades, it has always puzzled me when I hear someone say another person is needy because it’s a verbiage attached to superiority.
When a person says another person is needy it means that the other person is blocked and guarded and not ready to open up to being vulnerable. When you’re vulnerable the outside world often times will label you as needy. However, being vulnerable is not a form of being needy.
When a person acts needy it’s because they have let down a guard; a guard protecting them from vulnerability and trust. However, when a person calls another person needy it means they are not letting down the same guard.
Trust, love, and respect come with a cost; a cost that often times leads us down roads of uncertainty. When I am uncertain I become needy. An act or emotion created from unfortunate times in my past. I have either been hurt or strongly invested in a person who might not be as invested as I am in the relationship.
Being needy can be a challenging act in a relationship. However, whenever you are being labeled needy or labeling someone as needy it’s time to reflect.
Being needy is only needing attention and if you’re the person being labeled as needy, consider this, the person you’re with may not be the right person for you. And if you’re labeling an individual as needy either that person is not the right person for you or you’re guarded and not ready to fulfill someone else’s needs.
In relationships, it is important to remember if you’re someone who doesn’t require a lot of affection or attention doesn’t mean that someone who does is “needy.” If you ever use the word needy to describe the person you’re dating maybe they require more from you than you’re able to give.
I have realized over the years that when I label someone as needy that it’s more about me and less about that person.
