Stop Playing Boy Games!
If you sign up with a seedy dating website ( I know from experience ) then you will notice an unusually high population of ready and willing guys. The sudden and inexplicable appearance of all these cyber-hotties who seem oddly fascinated by your unfinished profile will cause you to either (A) declare online dating the best thing ever! or (B) make you think that there are no real men online and that you’re flirting with robots.
The Imaginary Online Friend—Built for Lazy Lovers
What’s with all of these imaginary men? Am I just paranoid, or worse yet, disgruntled because an online love broke my heart (Sniff…I’m over you Mister Manhunt, really I am)? No, it’s a fact that there are plenty of imaginary people online. We’re not just talking about the virtual boy-toy you find on Grindr.
The question is, are you wasting your time looking for no-strings-attached dating online? No, the legitimate opportunities are out there, but you really have to work for them. First of all, you have to understand the psychology of men online. Men are sexual creatures and thus are more inclined to be over someone quickly. Maybe the man you fancy isn’t looking for a commitment, or the “love of his life”, but for the attraction to work, he must see you as someone he’s deeply interested in—mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even spiritually.
He wants to know you and get a sense of your character. This is the attraction. It’s no wonder modern dating books encourage guys to adopt an alpha male strategy. Successful men are mysterious, uncontrollable and confident. They are also trained to be hunters and so they go out and look for men wherever they can find them.
Where the Men Are—Hiding Amongst Friendship Seekers
If you can’t seem to find a men looking for love online then you’re not quite getting the principles of attraction. Most men looking for love are not going to come out and post a suggestive picture with just a line. They want the full “falling in love” experience, even if that “love” is gone within a day. The experience still meant something and it satisfied a deep inner craving for mental, emotional and physical stimulation.
Therefore, most alpha males will post in the friendship section of a dating site as opposed to the naughty section. They want to be pursued and they want to feel the attraction you are attempting to build by being unpredictable. The no-strings-attached headline is not always attractive, because it implies no risk, no meaning and no significance. Men looking for love absolutely must feel that the relationship (even a casual one) is a very special one, one he will always remember, and that you are not like just any guy he’s going to bump into on the street.
If you treat dating like a bodily urge, how surprised can you be that only sex bots and hookers seem interested in your profile? Posting boring information about yourself, uploading boring or predictably X-rated pictures, and begging for a man’s attention are not attractive. Posting a decent picture of yourself with some interesting paragraphs of personal information is also unlikely to get a huge reaction.
The Answer to Finding a Real Man
Why? Because you’re still missing the personal interaction of a dating experience. Men looking for love online like to be approached first and then eased into a conversation. A man who gets cyber-paged several times a day by lonely guys does not have the need (or even the time) to go and look for even more suitors. He wants the best of the best. Your job is to give the best show of the night.
So I want to remind you guys out there who are actually signing up with these casual dating sites and walking away very disappointed, that dating imaginary people is not the answer. Some dating sites use imaginary people as lures because most of their members are lonely men who still haven’t figured out how to date…how to keep a real man’s attention and keep him attracted.
Don’t take cheap shortcuts. Don’t try to pick up a man using passive aggressive logic. Stop thinking you can get something for doing nothing. Get in touch with your inner beast and think like an alpha-male thinks. This is the first step to outgrowing imaginary friends.
