In today’s society, it seems we are never satisfied. We are always searching for something else; something that is bigger, better, faster, and newer. From innovative advances in technology to the men that we date, we are always looking for an upgrade.
Last night, when I got home from work, I had a little package waiting for me on my front steps. I leaped for joy (and may have screamed a bit) because I knew what was inside: my brand new iPhone.
I ordered the iPhone 6 about a month ago after hearing all my friends talk about it. “It’s so nice…The screen is so big…Look at the camera!” Feeling sad and pathetic about my measly iPhone 5, I called up my wireless provider and demanded (asked very politely) for them to use my upgrade for the new phone.
Did I really need a new phone? No. But I wanted it. Badly.
The phone I had worked perfectly well, had no cracks or scratches, and was pretty much brand new. I wanted the new phone because it was, well…new. And having the newest and the best things is always great and exciting, right?
But this act of keeping up with the Jones’ actually made me think, “Is this how I am with guys, too? Am I treating the guys I date like iPhones, waiting for the next best thing to come along?”
And sadly, yes. That was true.
Living in New York City is interesting. There are so many stimulating, driven, smart and attractive people here that it makes dating almost seem impossible. We are all looking for the best of the best, and sometimes we get distracted and discouraged if the person we are dating doesn’t have all the qualities we want or if they have a certain flaw or characteristic that we could live without.
I partially blame all of these dating applications and websites for this problem, with Grindr coming to mind the most. We sit in the comfort of our own homes, un-showered and un-phased, as we swipe yes or no to potential prospects. Once we swipe to the right, liking someone, we begin a conversation. But, not fifteen seconds after the first greeting is exchanged, we are alerted by our trusted phones that we have four new matches waiting to be contacted. Instead of continuing the conversation we had already started, we leave him to the dust, having to say “Hello” to our brand new matches.
Why do we act this way? Why can’t we, as consumers and daters, ever be satisfied?
I remember this one instance, last spring, when I was dating this great guy. He was smart, handsome, and most importantly, he made me laugh. The one drawback? He was shorter than me. I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with him, except there was this little voice in my head saying, “This is New York City and you’re dating him? I’m sure you can find someone better! Someone smarter, cuter, funnier, and more importantly, over six foot.”
So, I listened to that voice. That damn stupid voice. And I ended things. I logged onto those apps in search for my hilarious giant. But he never came. And now, on my brand new iPhone 6, I can see on his Facebook page that he is in a happy relationship, visiting California with his new beau. That could have been me, but I was so scared of missing out on something – or someone – I didn’t even know existed.
We need to learn to be grateful for what we have and to stop always wanting the next best thing. It’s hard because it is, after all, human nature. But those phones, the ones that know our touch so well and can feel our love, won’t love us back. Or take us to California. Or even make us laugh.
Let’s try to fight this urge of upgrading everything in our life and appreciate what we do have, because who says the next best thing is really, in fact, the best?
