Have you ever been in a relationship and suddenly you feel like ‘the thrill is gone’? Then what? You cheat or your partner cheats, or you shut each other out? Yet, you still find yourself muttering the words, “I love you”. Dilemma, for sure. Many people who felt intense love in the beginning tend to mistake complacency and boredom for “is this over”? What can you do to check yourself and see if your relationship is worth salvaging?
First, ask yourself if the person you are with is worth continuing a relationship with. Do you really love them or were you just swept away by the newness of the relationship in the beginning? Take away the physical aspect (although important) and ask yourself what it is about the other person that you love? Go back to the basics then add the sex in! Find ways to spark the relationship again and get out of the doldrums! What can you do to ignite the fire again? Use your imagination and some common sense.
When it comes right down to it people are creatures of pleasure. Flesh vessels built around a vast ocean of emotions. Think about it, how many times have you teared up at a movie or a commercial? Have you ever teared up just looking at another couple who ‘look’ in love? Everyone wants to feel loved, whether they admit it or not. Love takes time and nurturing. Like a plant that grows, love needs to be fed, nurtured, cared for and attended to. If you are feeling like your love growth has stopped blossoming, then start nurturing it again. Remember, most times the simple things mean the most. Call your sweetheart for no reason at all other than to say you were thinking of them. Flirty or thoughtful text messages can start up a great lead to some good romance. Make your guy lunch to take to work and stick a little note in it saying how you feel about them. Anything that triggers that “he cares about me emotion” is a great start!
Don’t hesitate to tell someone how you feel about them. Assuming they know is never a smart way to think. Sometimes a person pulls away from you because they “think” you feel one way about them, but turns out they are wrong. How would they know though if you don’t tell them? Never wait or put it off because life is short. Be open to saying how you feel. On the flip side, if something is bothering you, don’t let it fester inside, bring it up in a nice way and ask to discuss it. Avoidance of a problem or an issue only means that things don’t get solved properly. When that happens the spark continues to go out instead of you igniting the flames.
Plan some quality time together. Take a day off from work, take a long lunch hour or plan a getaway. Surprise your guy with an afternoon of just paying attention to them. If you live together, plan to meet at home for lunch and take it to the bedroom. Get creative and show them how you feel. Sometimes the deepest love is shown in your actions rather than your words.
Role play is another good way to have some fun. Meet each other at a designated spot and use your imagination! Hmmm, business man and pizza delivery guy? Obviously my own imagination is running over time. The point is, if you think someone is worth keeping in your life, worth keeping the love alive, then it has to be both of you working at it. Don’t ignore each other, don’t ignore issues, don’t let yourself fall into the boredom trap. If you want to keep the passion and love alive, you need to do things to ensure that happens. Remember that both of you are in the relationship, not just one of you. Always ask about each other’s day, not just complain about yours. Things don’t always have to be elaborate, it can be as easy as popping in a movie, cuddling up on the couch and just being with each other. Support each other, listen to each other and communicate with each other and arrange for quality time together. Most importantly, it’s not always words that say “I love you” and “I want you”, it’s actions too. It’s really up to each of you to initiate and ignite the flame. If your thrill is gone, it’s probably because you let it leave. Do what you need to do and get it back!
