Porn or no porn? As an adolescent, images in National Geographic magazine made me blush, and that wasn’t even porn. Then there was my 18th birthday at which my uncle gifted me my first tittie mag, Hustler. Little did he know at the time, but I essentially became of age and I think the implication was, now I was of age and I should know more about the world as it related to sex. He handed the glossy magazine to me in the confidential brown sack that it was handed to him in by the store clerk. Both in receiving it from the clerk and in giving it to me, it was all rather discreet.
Today, porn is so in your face I don’t think there is any way to avoid it. We are bombarded by sexually suggestive images from every direction, primetime TV, cable TV, dating apps, free porn sites, you name it, it’s out there and it’s easily accessible. And gone are the days of your computer slowing down and crashing by having been pummeled by malware and adware after visiting porn sites. There are reputable sites out there with lots of free porn that is safe for your computer. In addition to what’s out there, you, yourself, with the click of the record button on your phone can now become an instant porn star.
I’m not an advocate for nor a proponent of porn. Porn exists and can be okay. Porn can serve a purpose but like with most things it has to be viewed in moderation, understood, and respected. The one thing I find most negative and of concern about porn, however, and this could probably be said about images of people and groups in media generally, is how certain populations are depicted and what happens to those who view porn too much and who aren’t able to separate the “fantasy” or “role” they are watching from real life.
Alexandra Katehakes at Psychology Today writes, “Sadly, pornography paints an unrealistic picture of sexuality and relationships that can create an expectation for real-life experiences that will never be fulfilled.” And because there is a connection to brain chemistry, as someone watches porn their brain is becoming chemically wired to expect sex and relationships to be separate. I would presume that the more you watch, the less connected and less capable you become in dealing with real situations.
Alex Pesek of The Maneater wrote about racism in pornography. That article was three years ago and we haven’t seen much change since. A lot of “racial porn” that’s out there has the gay white guy bottoming for the big black guy and the hooks and titles of the videos are still based in racial stereotypes. Why does interracial porn have to play out that way? Have you seen a black guy bottom for a white guy? Probably not, it’s a rarity.
Mike Alvear of Huffington Post asked why are all the white guys bottoming in interracial porn? He provides a deep dive into the rationale porn producers have provided for creating these types of movies. They claim it’s about the money, honey, and that’s what the market wants. Mike, however, presents empirical support to challenge the whole notion of the taller black guy with the bigger penis topping the smaller white bottom with the smaller penis. Mike writes, “Porn studios claim that they’re only catering to what the market wants, but in reality they’ve created that market by systematically perpetuating the idea that blacks are bigger than whites, even though it is demonstrably not true.”
And interestingly and pretty alarmingly, within the adult film industry (gay and straight) there is great debate among porn stars about who they will or will not “work” with. Tracy Clark-Flory’s extensive article describes how gay porn performers and producers are debating the issue of performers not performing with guys of a different race or cultural background. Is it a sexual preference or is it racism? Are porn stars working as actors and should be required to play out scenes with anyone, or are they sharing an intimate experience and can pick and chose who they “work” with based on sexual preference? And then of course there are the producers and how they are responding or not responding to this issue.
What I’d like to get at, is this. Because porn is so voluminous and there are scientifically based implications around our brain chemistry and our brains on porn and how that plays out in our expectations for real situations, it’s important to ask ourselves if we watch interracial porn, are we perpetuating racial stereotypes in our real life situations? And the example is this, several black friends have shared stories of their white dates being suddenly turned off when they learn my friends don’t want to be called the “N” word or they don’t want to be the top for that night. Hmmm…
