Unmasking Desires: Navigating Race, Sexuality, and Trauma in the Gay Community is the book where I put my own dating life on the table. It’s about what Black gay men run into in the dating world, and a lot of it comes from my own experience in interracial relationships with white partners.
Each chapter takes on a different part of my life and a different problem inside the gay community. The stereotype of Black men as hypersexual and aggressive, and how it turns a person into an object before a word is said. How racial trauma follows you into the bedroom. I share my own stories of discrimination, fetishization and rejection.
I also get into the power imbalance in interracial relationships and where it comes from historically. Open communication and mutual respect are what I push for.
I didn’t want to write a book that only complains. I lay out what a healthier sexual dialogue looks like and how to build it. Where it helped, I leaned on bell hooks and Audre Lorde.
Unmasking Desires is available on Amazon.
Lead image: artwork by Corey Wesley from his Unapologetic Faces archive. This piece is not for sale.
This piece first ran on OVAH MAG on August 8, 2024. Updated October 17, 2026 with the new cover and a fresh edit.
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