Recently I experienced a very influential ‘ah-ha’ moment in my life. I recently completed the Oprah / Deepak’s 21 Day meditation challenge, a challenge that is no longer a challenge but more of an eye opening experience. This experience was like no other because it transformed my life, my thoughts, and it provided me the drive to live fearlessly. New thoughts blossomed, uplifted, and empowered me and changed the compass of my life aimed toward a brighter tomorrow.
At first I could not comprehend these new thoughts I found but I had to trust and accept them. I now have new ways of thinking that could only have been drawn to the surface from the silence and connection achieved through mediation.
My meditation experience was transforming and so powerful it changed the way I perceive what it means to be honest. During the meditation experience, I traveled to the depth of my soul to gain an understanding of honesty and I now think that it has no association with lying. Through my meditation over the last two weeks I developed a deeper understanding about the concept of being honest.
During these last two weeks, I also asked family and friends about honesty and I’ve come to a final conclusion that although they are opposites, there is little correlation between lying and being honest. By now you might be scratching your head out of confusion as I did weeks ago. Being honest is simply about being authentic and compassionate with who you are as a person and those around you and your experiences with each of them. When you’re not forthright and honest about who you are and the experience you’ve had with those around you, you create a life on illusions. Your perception of self and others mutates.
When you ask yourself “Who am I?” and “How do I respond to those around me?” you begin to discover what it will take to experience and start living an abundant and authentic life. Self-reflection, although challenging at first can lead you to being more real and authentic. When you start living life for you and by being honest, you no longer struggle in life or in situations you could have prevented simply because you were honest about who you are regardless if someone agrees with you or not.
Hearing, “you’re not being honest” can put someone on the defensive because society leads us to believe it’s connected to something negative. Being honest requires you to look at your self with compassion and without judgment. The opinion of others and what they perceive you to be is not your concern.
For example, when friend A asks you to ask friend B for a favor and you already know based on your experience with friend B that she or he is not reliable, openly saying “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” is not negative. It’s an honest truth being told based from your experience with friend B. Most often in this situation, we live in the illusion of who our friends really are to others and even ourselves. We attempt to protect the illusion, instead of being honest, by saying something like, “Sure, I’ll see what she says.” We all have flaws but our flaws don’t make us unworthy of someone’s friendship. It’s the moment we stop placing judgment on our flaws and those around us that we see our friends and our relationships for who and what they are and then suddenly we start being honest.
Ultimately being honest is done with compassion and understanding that we are not perfect. This in turn allows us to love family, friends, and ourselves for who we are and not for the illusion of who we think we are.