Recently a friend of mine asked me if it’s possible for his 10-year on-and-off sex-only, no-strings-attached partnership to become more than what it is. It’s a question that came up after a couple of recent encounters with his F@$k buddy where behaviors and habits appeared to be changing. Whether or not the changes in interaction mean anything at all is hard to say.
My friend and this individual have been hooking up for the past 10 years. The sex is great but because when they met, the other person was actually in a relationship. Initially, my friend wasn’t aware of the relationship. However, as their sexual relationship developed the truth was revealed. For years they continued to see one another but on a very limited basis.
Many months would go between hookups and because my friend wasn’t quite comfortable with the fact that he had a boyfriend he never initiated their encounters. However, after a long time away from one another they seem to have found their way back to each other. They’ve only hooked up a few times in the last 3 months but in the last 3 weeks, they’ve seen one another many more times in a shorter period. My friend believes the other guy is no longer in a relationship.
Their last encounter was intense and signs of a shift in the relationship seemed to take place when the guy texted my friend after leaving my friend’s place. The other guy texted that he arrived home safely and thanked my friend for having him over.
This simple text has created confusion in my friend’s mind because he likes the guy and would like to try to make the relationship more but he is unsure whether a relationship that has been solely based on sex for 10 years can be something more. In my opinion, if you read into the text wrong you could potentially mess up a good thing. It’s hard to give up great sex. When you find someone who satisfies you sexually completely, it’s a huge risk trying to change that.
Interactions among people change outside of the bedroom and it’s hard to say whether or not it’s wise to change the dynamic of the relationship. Although I believe the text is a good indication of the relationship deepened, it’s all still based on sex and nothing more.
It’s hard to say if a no-strings-attached relationship can successfully transition into a full-blown relationship. After 10 years of hooking up and no one ever making a move or attempting to make something more out of the already good thing they have, I believe it’s safe to say, if it’s not broke don’t fix it. Even though I am a hopeless romantic I am doubtful.